Need some advice on potty training my 4 yr old daughter!
We have been trying to train our daughter for a year. She just won’t go unless she has a pull up on. Being a long weekend, I was determined to give up the pull ups all together and let her pee on the floor and train her this weekend. We started the morning by taking her pull off up (wet) and sat her on the potty,.she sat and pretended to push, sat there and we waited…nothing. she said she was done and she wiped, flushed, washed her hands and I gave her 1 M&M and told her nice try.
I did this every 1/2 hour – She never peed yesterday from 7:30 am until THIS MORNING at 7:15 am when I put a pull up on her. Thats 24 hours!! HOW CAN THAT EVEN BE POSSIBLE??!!??!!
IN MY MIND, it seems like the only time she thinks she is allowed to pee or poop is when she has these damn pull ups on…and if she doesn’t have one on, she just doesn’t go!
I had her in underwear all day yesterday and took her on the potty every 1/2 hr. Fed her popsicles, water, juice, & milk and gave her 1 m & m everytime she sat on the potty. When it was naptime, I layed down with her, she had underwear on…I thought for sure she would pee in bed, which was fine, I was willing to strip the sheets, whatever…just as long as she peed.
Well she didn’t pee when she slept. (amazing!) then all evening the same thing, finally it was bed time….I was going to put a pull up on her, but figured I came this far, I might as well stick with the panties. I was up almost every hour last night, checking to see if she peed….unbelievably, she didn’t!!
She woke up dry this morning and I put her on the potty right away…i mean, at this point i knew she had to go. She sat on the potty, but nothing…so I’m like, ok, what do I do know?! I took a pull up and cut a hole in it, thinking I would sit her on the potty and she would pee thru the hole in the pull up. I put the pull up on her, walked to the kitchen and by the time I came back, she had peed on the floor.
Ok, so I said yeah, you peed, next time let’s do it on the potty. cut another hole in the next pull up and within 10 minutes she peed on the floor again…ok, yeah, you peed, next time lets go on the potty. What do I do now? back to pull-ups? back to her holding it for 24 hrs (which I know is NOT healthy)…I am at my wits end, my boys were potty trained at 2.
I have read every book and article on potty training. I tried the videos, dolls, stickers, books, etc. I am desperate and discouraged.
how is she peeing on the floor–stay with her and prompt her to sit down..
maybe find a better reward–does she highly desire M&M’s or does she have other things she gets more excited for?
i get a lot of items at a dollar store..mini fans that light up, things that make sound, mini vibrators
one little girl loved cold things against her face–so we froze web dishing washing towels and gave her one to touch to her face
4-5 is not unusual for kids with special needs
and at least she is peeing with the hole….once she is successful–keep making it bigger
I know that you are very discouraged but try getting really really excited when she does sit and try. I know it is hard but just show how excited you are for her sitting there and she will want to please you. Is there any other thing that she totally enjoys? I had a special ed kid with down syndrome and there were three things that I could get him to do anything for a bag of chips, sharp pencils, and pokemon. I worked with this child for years and the same things always worked. Maybe you can do a really excited happy crazy animated Pee Pee dance for her every time she sits. And maybe that will give her the extra push to go.
References :
how is she peeing on the floor–stay with her and prompt her to sit down..
maybe find a better reward–does she highly desire M&M’s or does she have other things she gets more excited for?
i get a lot of items at a dollar store..mini fans that light up, things that make sound, mini vibrators
one little girl loved cold things against her face–so we froze web dishing washing towels and gave her one to touch to her face
4-5 is not unusual for kids with special needs
and at least she is peeing with the hole….once she is successful–keep making it bigger
References :
edit: CHOOSE A BETTER REWARD AND ONLY GIVE IT IF SHE ACTUALLY PEES IN THE TOILET..you can continue to use the mm for sittiing
is her issue with change [as in,the change from going from pullups to toilet], is she able to process the sequence needed for normal toileting?,or does she have an underlying toileting issue of some form or sensory related issue with the actual toilet?
she really needs to see a specialist,who can work out causes-and a plan,hopefully to eventually get her out of nappies if she does not need them anymore.
dont give in,as are not a bad mum and are going beyond doing everything possible for her.
dont know whether she woud be able to understand this yet,woud getting her some PECS pictures on a board,to give a simple picture based sequence of how to go toilet help her?
am a user of one in own toilet as otherwise woud not be able to go.
as for sensory issues assuming she had them-coud the toilet seat be to cold? to hard? to rough? to smooth? etc,though whats normal to someone else,may be a nightmare to her.
if that was the case,dont know if getting some thick cloth that she woud like on her skin,and temperarily sticking it to the toilet seat woud work eventually,along with letting her keep the pad as close as she needs it till ready?
it also doesnt matter about age and nappies,as am twenty six and have to wear them due to a form of incontinence through autism,if its a cost issue due to needing them all the time,there shoud be some help to pay for them,in the UK at least we can get them for free [child and adult] through assessment with community incon nurse.
References :
No offense but if she is developmentally delayed then why rush the potty training? I understand you need to try but maybe she is still not ready yet. Nothing wrong with staying in diapers until she is ready.
References :